SB_February_23_2024

Page 13 The Sun Bay Paper February 23, 2024 Pay attention Put your phone away and pay attention to those talking to you. ......... okay... it’s not a joke! but needed to be said! Oh I get it! Bubba & Earl were in the local bar enjoying a beer when the decided to get in on the weekly charity raffl e. They bought fi ve tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffl e was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl won 1st prize, a year’s supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush. About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, “Great, I love spaghetti! How about you, how’s that toilet brush?” “Not so good,” replied Bubba, “I reckon I’m gonna go back to paper.” Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually... It took me 7 minutes to shuffl e the cards for solitaire. cartoon art by J. D Burdge Beach People Give Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs “give me your money,” he demanded. Indignant, the affl uent man replied, “you can’t do this – I am a United States congressman!” “In that case,” replied the mugger, “give me MY money.” 9 out of 10 The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. Hmmmn... A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the wife keeps staring at a drunken gentleman swigging his drink as he sits alone at a nearby table. The husband asks, “Do you know him” “Yes,” sighs the wife, “he’s my ex. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.” “My God!” says the husband “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?” Tention A sad-faced Doug walked into a fl ower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug’s face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of fl owers sent to his wife for their anniversary. “And what day will that be?” the clerk asked. Glumly he replied, “Yesterday.” Good Question! One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American fl ags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy and said quietly, “Good morning, Alex.” “Good morning, Pastor,” he replied, still focused on the plaque. “Pastor, what is this?” The pastor replied, “Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.” Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex’s voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,”Which service, the 8:00 or the 9:30?” Respect I haven’t spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her. Getting Over! Morris asks his son, now aged 13, if he knows about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears. Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong. “Oh dad,” he sobbed, “at age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grown-ups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”

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