Volume 7 Issue 16a_1-568813322.e$S_Sun Bay Paper

Bum De odo rant A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any." "But I always get it here," says the blonde. "Do you have the container it comes in?" "Yes!" said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant." The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom." The Sun Bay Paper Page 20 January 28, 2022 - February 3, 2022 My boss calls me "the computer"... It’s time to benefit from the active real estate market. Contact me for competent real estate expertise. Cathie Lewis, Realtor Pfeifer Realty Group, LLC SWFL, Fort Myers Beach, Sanibel & Captiva Islands is All About Home Real Estate Specialist No, it has nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes. I ’m New A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear - no car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?" The Wi l l Read i ng A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will. 'To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million,' the attorney reads. 'To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness, helped out at the business going, I leave the yacht, half the business and $1 million.' ‘To my son, who also helped me with the family business, I leave the other half of the business and $1 million’ 'And finally,' the lawyer concludes, 'to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would ‘never amount to nuthin’ and said I wouldn’t even mention him in my will. ...... Well, you were wrong! ......... Hi Dan!' D i n i ng Ou t Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant in the neighborhood. "I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines." "’C’mon stop that please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!" Want a New View? Hmmmm? Joanie’s Husband was furiously humping away with his wife's best friend, Tammy, when suddenly the phone rang. He hopped out of bed and returned to the sweaty sheets after a brief conversation. "Who was it?" the Tammy asked. "Oh, that was Joanie” he replied calmly. "Oh crap, I'd better be going then, I was supposed to meet her!" she said. "Did she say where she was?" "Relax -- she said she's down at the mall shopping with you." L o g i c a l After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?" "Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure I’d rather be the one standing up and yelling than to be the one sitting still and listening." Wro n g o r R i g h t ? The other day, Louise and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would have said it was Armageddon.) As is our nature, neither of us would admit the possibility that we might be in error. To her credit, Louise finally said, 'Look. I'll tell you what. I'll admit I'm wrong if you admit I was right.' I thought about it for a minute and finally said 'Fine.' She took a deep breath, looked me in the eye and said, 'I'm wrong.' I grinned and replied, 'You're right.'