SB_October_27_2023

October 27, 2023 - November 2, 2023 The Sun Bay Paper Page 13 Relieve Tension A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks “How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?” “Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we’ll show you.” The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says “Since you’re our guest you get to go first.” The doctor not wanting to go against custom, proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks “Are you almost done Doc?” “We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women.” Highest Bidder....! Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $1,400.... $600 for materials, $600 for my crew, and $200 profit for me.” The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $900. $600 for materials, $200 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.” The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,900.” The official, also leans in and says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with that figure?” The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.” “Done!” replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how things get done in Washington. I saw online that officials in New York City, urged residents to wear masks in public! I am not doing that again! Me either! Besides, there isn’t a mask big enough to protect us from the shi# that’s going down in the US these days! cartoon art by J. D Burdge Beach People Money Matters When can women make you a millionaire? When you’re a billionaire. Out of the mouths of Babes One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops. “What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer. “Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.” The little girl replies, “Well, mommy I think you’re wasting your time because everytime you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.” Worried AMale patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack. He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed. A young nurse came to cleanse his body with sponge. The patient mumbled, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse replied, “I don’t know Sir, I am just getting you clean” The patient repeated again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse was quite embarrassed to answer the question and said “Sir everything should be OK” The patient just kept on asking again and again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse could not bear a patient concerned so much. So she raised his gown, moved her hand to find and grab his penis and testicle, moved it all around, checked very closely and suddenly man ejaculated on nurse’s hand. The man pulls off his oxygen mask, embarrassed at the fiasco says loudly enough, “Miss, I thank you very much for that, but I still need to know ‘Are my tests results back?’” Say What?! Nurse: “We need a stool sample and a urine sample.” Old man to his wife: “What did she say?” Wife to husband: “They want your underwear.” Amnesia Joe awakens in the hospital, his friend Andy is there happy that he has finally opened his eyes after days of unconsciouness, Andy asks him what happened? Joe says he’s not sure, Andy: “What is the last thing you remember? Joe: “This morning I got onto the elevatoran elevator, at the next floor a lady gets on with very large breasts, I was staring at boobs and she said “Press One?” So I did... and I can’t remember anything after that.

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