SB_January_19_2024

Page 13 The Sun Bay Paper January 19, 2024 Out of the Mouths of Babes A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. “How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it was printed on the bottom.” What is the NSA? A government organization that actually listens to you. cartoon art by J. D Burdge Beach People Life Saver? A guy comes home in the middle of the day, fi nds his wife standing in the middle of their deluxe apartment wearing a red G-string, high heels, and the whole apartment is fl ooded. “What happened here?” he asks. “I think the waterbed busted,” says the trembling wife. Just then a guy fl oats by. “Who’s that?” demands the husband. “I dunno. Must be a lifeguard.” Great Luck Three very religious men were playing golf. The fi rst hole was a wicked dogleg with a large water hazard. The fi rst man stepped up to the tee and hit a sharp slice into the water hazard. He walked up to the water; it parted and he lofted his ball within one foot of the hole. The next man stepped up and hit the ball. Sure enough, he sliced it so that it landed on top of the water. He walked across the surface of the water and and hit the ball within six inches of the hole. The third man stepped up, hit the ball, and sliced it. The ball was just about to land in the water when a trout jumped out of the water and grabbed it in his mouth. An eagle swooped down, scooped up the fi sh, and fl ew off . As the eagle banked over the green, lightning struck it, it dropped the fi sh, the fi sh dropped the ball, and it landed in the hole for a hole in one. Moses turned to Jesus and said, “I really hate playing golf with your Dad.” Hmmmn... A guy walks into a post offi ce one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’” “But why?” asks the man. “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies. Dont Mess with Old People! Annoyed by the elderly professor of anatomy who liked to tell “naughty” stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. “They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France.” The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. “Young ladies,” said the professor with a broad smile, “the next plane doesn’t leave till tomorrow afternoon.” Right Asnwer! Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?” Student: “A serious drinking problem.” Self Defense! A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called 911, gave his address, to report the prowlers and possible burglary. The operator at the other end said “Are they in your house?” He said they were not, only in his storage shed in back of the house. The operator said there were no cars available at that time. He thanked the operator, hung up the phone and counted to 30 and called again. “I just called you about prowlers in my storage shed. Well you do not have to worry, as I just shot them all dead!” Within 2 minutes there were 3 police cars, an ambulance and fi re engine at the scene. After capturing the prowlers red-handed, the policeman asked the caller, “I thought you said you had shot them all!” The man answered, “I thought you said there were no police available!”

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