Page 13 The Sun Bay Paper January 5, 2024 Deep Thinking I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts. Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.... Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.” On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.” I rest my case.... Time for another beer. Every time I get a headache I take 2 Ibuprofen and keep away from my children... Just like the bottle says. cartoon art by J. D Burdge Beach People Butterfly Effect? A man was watching TV and enjoying a beer. “Don’t go,” he yelled at the screen. “Do not enter that building. Walk away. Argh, you stupid man!” His wife called from the kitchen, “What on earth are you watching?” “Our wedding video.” WHY OLD MEN DON’T GET HIRED At Job interview: HR Manager: “What is your greatest weakness?” Old man: “Honesty.” HR Manager: “I don’t think honesty is a weakness.” Old Man: “I don’t really give a sh!t what you think.” All Natural While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer.The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it. The fi rst nun replied that she would handle it without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier was surprised, so the nun said, “This is for washing our hair.” Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer.“The curlers are on me.” Dont Mess w Old People! An old gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an offi ce with several other doctors. The waiting room was fi lled with patients. He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice the woman said, “Yes, I see your name here. You want to see the doctor about impotence, right?” All of the patients in the waiting room snapped their head around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, “No, I’ve come to inquire about a sex change operation and I’d like the same doctor that did yours!” Miracle? Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was making her rounds. She was visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fi ll with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, fi lled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car. As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, “If it starts, I’m becoming Catholic.” Funny Guy Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: “John, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?” John says, “I feel just like a newborn baby.” “Really!? Like a newborn baby!?” “Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants.”
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